Things That Look Like Them
by Ferrari91169
Summary: Ok...I am not going to finish this story probably. I feel that since it is getting no reviews, that obviously no one wants to read on...if someone would like to complete the story for me please email suggestions to
1. Kicked in the Nuts

Ok this is part two of the story "Lois in the Hospital". You should probably read that story before reading this one. Just a reminder, and enjoy the story.

Brian: God, what've we done.

R. Kelly: You put me in this closet.

Stewie: God I hate his rhymes.

R. Kelly: But you will leave me here no more.

(R. Kelly jumps out of the closet)

R. Kelly: I'm wearing a fucking vest you morons…and you tried to kill me…you sick bastards.

(R. Kelly starts shooting two guns simultaneously)

Lois: Everyone run.

Peter: To the petercopter.

(Everyone leaves, but they forget Meg)

R. Kelly: Alright bitch where'd they go.

Meg in a scared voice: What are you going to do to me…

Meg in a more amusing voice: What are you going to do to me?

R. Kelly: I'm going to kill you if you don't tell me where they went.

Meg: Ok…um…they probably went to…our neighbor's house.

R. Kelly: Ok…let's go find them.

(They walk over to Herbert's house)

R. Kelly: Have you seen…

Herbert: I'm gonna give it to you good young man…

R. Kelly: Oh God…get me out of here.

(They walk to Cleveland's house)

Cleveland: That was fun…do you want to play again.

R. Kelly: No…I have had enough of your black history trivia games.

(Walk to Quagmire's house)

(Open door to find Quagmire naked)

(At Joe's house)

Stewie: It was so small

Lois: Honey…we have to be quiet…R. Kelly will be here any minu…

(Doorbell Rings)

R. Kelly: I bust up in the house…go up the stairs…pull back the shower door…and a fat pregnant lady screams what was all that for.

Bonnie: I didn't say that…get out of my house…uses mace on him.

Joe: I'll right I'm taking you out.

(Shoots him five times in the head)

Joe: OH GOD…he's dead…that shouldn't have killed him…should it have.

(Everyone looks at Joe in silence)

Joe with "Trapped in the Closet" tune: Let's put him in the closet.

Peter: Or throw him out the door.

Lois: Are you crazy…people would see him there…let's take him to the garbage dump.

Peter: Oh…I've got a better idea…let's take him to the garbage dump.

Lois: Peter, I just said that.

Peter: Trying to steal my idea's Lois…how childish.

(Stewie runs into the room with a knife, goes into R. Kelly's pants, and comes out with something in his hand)

Stewie: This shall complete my experiment.

(Stewie runs out of the room)

Meg: Did he take his…

Lois: I think so

Chris: Cool

(Chris runs out of the room)

Chris Yelling: Let me see…

Bonnie: How disturbing…

Joe: Look...me and Peter will take care of him…you girls…(looks at Meg)…and wanna be girls can stay here and chat.

(Peter and Joe wrap the body in a blanket, and throw it in the trunk of Peter's car)

Peter: So where are we taking him.

Joe: You know that old pond we used to fish in.

Peter: You wanna take him there.

Joe: No, I was just thinking about the good times.

Brian: I'd better come with you guys.

(Ashton Kutcher comes up and kicks Peter in the nuts)

Peter: Aw…what the hell man…what the hell…aw…

Joe: What's your problem…

Peter: Aw god…Aw

Ashton: My friend

Peter: What…god

Ashton: My friend you've just been kicked in the nuts.

Peter: (Starts laughing) Oh…are you kidding me…oh my god…no freakin way…

Ashton: Yea…wave to the camera…it's right there.

Brian: Hey Brooke it's me Brian...from the Bachelorette...so you haven't been answering my calls...and I was wondering...

(Interupted by Joe)

Joe: Hey everyone…

Ashton: Tell the camera what happened

Peter: I just got kicked in the nuts.

Cockroach looking creature: Excellent!


	2. Getting Rid of The Body

(Inside Joe's House)

Lois: I hope they get rid of that body fast.

Bonnie: Yea, I wouldn't want Joe to be caught…his career would be ruined.

Lois: Well, at least Brian went with them, they should be able to get something done right.

(Over at the Griffin's house)

(Looks at a man with different celebrities body parts on him)

Stewie: Well, it's not perfect, but it will do…I shall call you

"The Kelizabackstreetspearscenteminemschneiderminator"

Chris: Wow.

Stewie: Oh yes. Before your eyes you see a man made of R. Kelly's Penis…Queen Elizabeth's eyes…the backstreet boys back's…Britney Spears tit's…50 Cent's legs…eminem's arms…Rob Schneider's stomach…and well it's got the terminators programming…I do say it could've gone without Rob Schneider's stomach…but what do I know I'm just a baby.

Chris: That's cool man…

Stewie: Now fear it's mind control device…

(Stewie pushes a button on a remote)

Chris: What do you want master.

Stewie: I think it's time for a sexy party…

(6 girls in bunny suits come in, and them and Stewie run around the room)

(In Peter's Car)

Peter: So, where should we take this body?

Joe: I don't know, but I was actually thinking about calling the police department and telling them we found it…I have a good reputation so they would believe me.

Brian: That's a stupid idea. They would want to know where you found it, and it just wouldn't work.

Joe: How about we blame Peter.

Peter: You would do that for me.

Brian: Your right…he'd never know what we did…it's a sure fire plan.

Joe: Why are we stopped?

Brian: and where the hell is Peter?

(They see Peter talking to a police officer)

Peter: I had to throw them in my car. It was so hard to get them down here…I put the body in a blanket so that you could see what they did to it.

(Peter drops the body on the ground and unrolls the blanket)

Officer: My god…the penis is missing.

Peter: Yea…they aren't just murderer's. It turns out that they are pervert's too.

Officer: I'm going to have to ask you two to step out of the vehicle.

(Officer takes Brian and Joe towards the police car)

Joe: How could you Peter?

Peter: Officer, you've got it all wrong…it's not them…it was those two.

Smurf 1: Oh god you think they are onto us.

Smurf 2: I don't know…put away the pot and let's get out of here.

(Ride away on two little motorcycles)

(Officer jumps in his car)

Officer: Get back here

Joe: Nice call Peter…I thought you were turning me and Brian in.

Peter: Wait…that wasn't you and Brian…damn I told him the wrong people.

Brian: Wait…you were actually going to turn us in.

Peter: Yea because you guys said you were turning me in.

Brian: Yea, but I didn't think you'd understand us…I mean…you know because your…

Peter: What…what am I…I'm fat…is that what you were going to say.

Brian: Sure…you didn't understand us because you are fat.

Joe: Well, now that we're not suspected let's go back to the house.

Peter: I'm with you there.

(Officers car coming back at them fast)

Officer using a blow horn: It was you guys…the smurfs told me everything…

Peter: Oh Crap…we have to get out of here.

(All of them jump in the car)

Peter: Except for Joe…hahaha…he has no legs…hahaha…next time get it right funny person writing the story.

Brian: I wouldn't make fun of the person writing the story…

Peter: Why he's just a retard and…I love guys…and their penises…someday I hope to make gay love to a dog…

Brian: Whoa…whoa…slow down there buddy…you can fuck with this story as much as you want…but that's going to far.

(Now back to where we were)

Joe: Step on it…full speed baby…

(Peter steps on the gas, and it turns into a high-speed chase)

(Peter see's a sign that says "Jopetrian's Only". Being Peter he takes the route)

(Officer Steps on the brakes)

Officer: Oh my god…they are going into the Jopetrian's territories. Those little guys will eat them up…I'm out of here.

(Officer turns around and speeds away)

(Peter, Brian and Joe crash the car in a ditch and fly out the windshield)

Peter and the "thing that looks like him": Oh My God it looks like me…

Brian and the "thing that looks like him": and that one…it looks like me

Joe and the "thing that looks like him": Hey look it's Bruce Lee…and that one is Jackie Chan…and that one is…what the hell…it looks like me…but it's Arnold Schwartzanegger.

Peter and the "thing that looks like him": No…Joe that one right there is you.

Joe and the "thing that looks like him": OH MY GOD.


End file.
